LEAven Blog

Working through emotions is one of the uniquely demanding tasks of being human. Feelings don’t arrive in neat, labeled packages; they surge, overlap, and sometimes linger longer than we’d like. This is true for young children learning how to navigate their first big emotions, and it remains true for adults—teachers in busy classrooms, colleagues in workplaces, and anyone trying to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Emotional growth begins not by pushing feelings away, but by turning toward them with honesty, patience, and care.

A gentle and enduring reminder of this approach can be found in the song “The Mad That You Feel,” a popular song by Fred Rogers (search for it on YouTube, if you have a moment). Though written with children in mind, its message reaches far beyond early childhood. The song does not shame anger or frame it as something to eliminate. Instead, the song acknowledges anger as a natural, human experience – something that can be understood, expressed, and guided. This is a lesson children need as they learn to name their feelings, but it is just as important for adults who model emotional responses every day in classrooms, offices, and relationships.

For young children, learning to say “I feel mad” can be a powerful first step. Without that language, emotions often come out through behavior – tantrums, withdrawal, or frustration. Teachers and caregivers play a key role in helping children connect words to feelings and in creating a safe environment where emotions are “mentionable and manageable.” But this work does not stop in childhood. Teachers navigating the stress of a long day or colleagues facing tension in the workplace benefit from the same practice. Naming feelings creates space to respond wisely rather than react in ways that may cause harm. Even in a Lutheran school, negative emotions can take over and create discord within a faculty or amongst peers in a classroom.

Scripture speaks about these unique experiences all humans face. Ephesians 4:26 (ESV) reminds us, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” This guidance applies across ages and roles – yes, even in Lutheran education. A child may need help learning not to hit when angry, while an adult may need to resist harsh words or silent resentment. In both cases, the feeling itself is not the problem – rather, how is how it is expressed. The goal is not to eliminate emotion, but to guide it toward healthy and constructive responses. Prayer is a great way to navigate difficult emotions; God stands ready to listen and assist.

Honesty is another essential part of working through feelings. For children, this might look like telling a teacher, “I’m upset because I didn’t get a turn.” For adults, it might mean acknowledging stress, frustration, or hurt in a conversation with a colleague. In a Lutheran school context, this honesty extends into prayer. The Psalms model a faith that does not hide emotion but brings it fully before God. Psalm 34:18 (ESV) offers reassurance for every age: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Whether it is a child overwhelmed by a difficult moment or an adult carrying the weight of responsibility, the closeness and comfort of Christ remain constant.

Patience is also vital in this process. Children do not learn emotional regulation overnight; they need repetition, guidance, and much grace. Similarly, adults continue to grow in how they handle emotions, too. A teacher may pause before responding to a challenging student. A colleague may take a moment to breathe before replying to a negative or troubling email. These small pauses reflect a deeper discipline – choosing response over reaction.

Recognizing patterns of feelings is also part of emotional growth. A child may notice they feel angry when they are tired or left out. An adult may realize that certain situations consistently trigger frustration or anxiety. Rather than responding with shame, both can approach these patterns with curiosity. What is this feeling trying to communicate? Is there a need that is not being met? This kind of reflection fosters understanding and opens the door to change. Teachers in Lutheran schools are busy, but taking time each day to pray and reflect can make a significant difference in mental health.

Equally important is self-compassion. Children need reassurance that their feelings are not “bad,” even when their actions need correction. Adults, too, benefit from extending grace to themselves. For Christians, this reflects the broader call to live in grace rather than condemnation; thankfully, Jesus Christ shared the ultimate example of grace – His life – so that we may live. Just as we guide children with patience and care, we are invited to treat ourselves and others with the same kindness.

In the end, working through feelings is about relationships – how we relate to ourselves, to others, and to God (Jesus was all about relationships, too!). For children, this foundation shapes how they will handle emotions for the rest of their lives. For teachers and colleagues, it influences the tone of classrooms, workplaces, and communities. “The Mad That You Feel” (again, check it out on YouTube if you are not familiar) captures a simple but profound truth: feelings can be faced, spoken, and understood. Through both a developmental and faith-filled lens, this becomes more than a skill – it becomes a way of living with honesty, compassion, and intentional love – exactly what God would want us to do!